Glub Glub Glub...

Drowning in the river. What else is new? The 9-person tournament for Vegas started off nicely for me. I was involved in two early pots and took them both, so I went from the T2500 to about T3500 pretty early. Then I get KK just behind the button. EP raises to 500, he gets one caller, and I just call as well. I figure EP must have an A, so I don't want to be risking too much if one happens to flop.

Flop comes KQT. Lovely. Caller bets out 500, I raise to 1000. EP folds, caller re-raises all-in for another 500. I take a second look at the flop, thinking AJ would be a killer, but I have to call. He shows J9o. WTF? Board doesn't pair and I'm back down to T2000.

I did my best to keep out of the way as two others bust out. Then I get KJ of spades and call an EP raise. AQ spades and a 4 on the flop. I have a Royal Flush draw... I have yet to ever see a Royal, and here I am practically holding one! The other two in the pot had Q4 and A4 - they were betting out strong so it cost me dearly to chase the Ts, or any Ten or any Spade. Nothing. The River brought a Q to fill out Q4.

Short stacked now at about T500. Push twice with nice hands, AKs and 77, but no action. Get 66 in the BB and there's an EP raise that puts me all-in. He has A4s, and catches the A on the River.

Could I have done anything different? Could I really have played any better? I think the only mistake I made was paying too much on that straight/flush/Royal draw. Should I have been more aggressive pre-flop on that hand? Hindsight is 20/20 and I probably couldn't have pushed the other two off the pot at any time; and I'm glad I didn't go all-in like I had considered. But again, it's hard to analyze what I'm doing when I just keep getting killed by crap left and right.

Well, there's still a week left before the Fortune Cookie lets me down. Maybe I should go pick up some lotto tickets or something. Maybe then I can pay for some swimming lessons.

Sudden Change of Schedule

It seems like a slump of a week for everybody. With the craziness going on at work, I've just been too tired to even consider going out to the casino on a weekday night. Haven't even gone online all week, so I've seen ZERO cards, real or virtual, since last weekend.

I wasn't planning on playing much this weekend either... lots of things to do around the house before Thanksgiving and all that. But when I got home on Friday, Shawni told me the Poker room manager from Midway/Cascade called... the Vegas Freeroll final table that was scheduled for Nov 28 has all of a sudden been moved up to this Sunday!

Wow... I don't know if I should go and play some tonight, to get warmed up... or if I should continue avoiding all cards and let my good karma build up for Sunday.

I'm hoping that some of the final 9 won't be able to accommodate the schedule change, and that it'll be an even shorter-handed table. :)

Well, time to put a rush on my household duties for today. Then I'll need to do some studying up on single table/SnG tourney tactics. There seems to be plenty of that out there, with all of you online players.

Wish me luck!

What's This Hook In My Mouth???

It was a cold cold weekend.

It started on Saturday when I talked my wife into going ahead and trying out the 10/20 tables. "C'mon now, it's just like playing 2/4 but just with red chips!" I figure after my masturbatory Blackjack rush, it was her turn to play with the big bucks. She went down to the Muckleshoot first as I had to finish up some work for the office.

When I got there 2 hours later, she had already bought in with a rack ($500) and was now down to just one stack (~$100). The first hand I saw of hers was Q3 - it was a lowball flop and she caught a 3, but it got raised twiced before her so she dumped out. A Q came on the River, and the players who raised just had medium pocket pairs, so she would have taken that huge pot. Had this been 2/4, she probably would have stayed in. My thought is, a hundred chips is a hundred chips, whether they be white or red. But I guess realizing the red ones cash out for a bit more makes the transition a bit harder. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to see if I could hold true to my theory, as I was only allocated $200 and had to sit at the 4/8 table.

I think I did pretty well. Didn't play half as many hands as I normally would. Folded if my outs were too few after the flop. Played according to my position to bluff a few pots. I was up about $50 when the weather suddenly turned on me. I got absolutely nothing I felt comfortable playing, even on the button. When I did get a decent hand, someone else had a decenter hand. It began when I was holding AT and flopping KQJ for the nut straight. I didn't try to slowplay and bet right out and got a raise from an older woman who was playing very tight. We capped it on the flop and the Turn. She had 9Td for a lower straight, and then caught a 3rd diamond to flush me out of a huge chunk of my chips. I raise pocket Aces UTG; and when two 7s flop, another chunk of my stacks get split by 67 and 78. I finally bust out completely when my Pocket Tens sees a 9-high flop, and I get beat by Pocket Jacks.

Shawni had left the 10/20 and traded down to the same game in white. She wasn't faring that well either. We'd been there for about 6 hours at this point, so I had to go home and check on the dogs (the kids were spending the weekend with Grandma). I hung out at home and watched TV for a bit, when I got a call from the wife. She said she had to leave the Muckleshoot cause all the luck was just whizzing by her... the table next to hers hit the Bad Beat Jackpot and split $24,000. She had to leave and told me to meet her "at home" aka Midway.

I head down there at about 10pm and see her seated happily with a large stack of chips. Yup, home sweet home! I bought in for $100 and just started bleeding away chips. Could not get a damn hand or a flop to match. Or if I did catch something, I wouldn't get any action. Luck may have whizzed by Shawni at the Muckleshoot and caught up with her at the Midway, but it was ignoring me completely!

I was pretty much ready to give up for the night, when I get AJs and FINALLY flop the flush. There were two other maniacs in capping each round, and I ended up going all in and taking the $100 main pot. Three hours and I've only broken even. I racked up and went home and right to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, Shawni was sound asleep; and there was over $500 in our Poker Money Box! I found out over breakfast that she stayed still closing and managed to clean out some of those maniacs. And she was getting good cards too! Full house after Full house, flushes and straights getting called all the way down to the River.

Then she broke the bad news to me. She talked to one of the dealers before leaving, and he questioned my play, thought I was a weak player.

Man, I thought it was just the cards that were cold.

Apparently, he felt I tried to bluff way too much, and gave away a lot of chips chasing cards. Hmm... I'm totally open to criticism and advice, and I thought back about the last couple weekends of play. Unfortunately there's no B&M Poker Tracker, and I'm not one to sit at the table with a notebook, so I just had to go off memory. In thinking back, I came to the realization that I do play too aggressively. I remember hearing that one should play opposite of the table; and the only times I do well are when it is a passive, easy to scare table. But once another aggressor comes in, I have trouble holding back. I get caught up in the moment. I seem to always end up heads-up with them and try to push them off the pot without the best hand. Not good.

I will defend myself against the chasing bit though. How can you not hold out to the river when you flop a open-end straight draw AND the 4 card flush? If there's nothing on the flop, I'll see the Turn if it's cheap, and then I'm out. I don't hold low connectors or s00ted rag, cause I know those get expensive to chase, and then they're still easy to beat. I know how to count my outs and bet accordingly.

These thoughts ran through my head all Sunday. Am I really the fish? I try to spot the sucker at the table when I sit down, but do I need a mirror to be able to see him? Aw dammit. Enlightenment sucks!

Well, we went back down for the last qualifying Freeroll and I told myself I will play better, play my best. No excessive aggression. No gut-shot chasing. Excellent hand selection only.

I played exactly 4 hands, no limping, 2-4x BB raises: ATs, flopped missed completely. AKo, flop came with 2 Jacks. QQ, an Ace and a K flops. As a short stack, I finally have to push all-in with pocket 8s, get called by an AK. King on the flop, and another King on the turn just for my amusement.

*sigh*

Kind of hard to analyze my play when the cards are running that badly. And it wasn't just in Hold'em. I clawed my way through the first round of the Pai-gow tournament; and I couldn't hang on to make it through the 2nd round. I was just on the bubble of making it to the final table, where, of course, everyone split it for an easy $150.

Went back into the Poker room and bought another rack, and stuck to my guns. I was going to play well and play consistent, but my luck decided to remain consistent as well. Pocket Js gets a board of 256,7,9 and of course two others are holding an 8. KQ flops two-pair, but I'm drawing dead to someone holding KK. Twice I got KK but lost to a rivered Flush and a rivered Straight. The night went on like that, and the table finally broke when I was down to $20.

A negative weekend for me. Down $300... found out I'm a fish... kept drowning in the river... no wonder it's so damn cold.

The New Poker Diet

Forget about the low-carb craze! Disregard all you've read about calorie counting! Don't bother wearing out your joints on a silly treadmill! Splashing the pot and mucking cards is the way to go to shed those unwanted pounds! Shuffling chips and raking in wins will shape and tone those target areas. Everybody, follow along now - 1 bet, 2 bet, 3 bet, Cap it!

I started taking my diet more seriously this weekend. Wifey and I hit the Midway for some 3/6 on Saturday night, around 10pm. We started on the 2nd table, younger table, friendly game - and by 'friendly' I mean $15 pots, if that. A seat opened up on the main table and I moved over, wanting a piece of the $50 pots over there. Unfortunately, the table was full of wild players, capping pre-flop and calling any bets to catch their runner-runner two-pair for the win. As you can imagine, my $80 didn't last me long there.

Of course, as soon as I left the seat, the guy who replaced me won with the best hands 3 times in a row. If nothing else, at least I'm a good seat-warmer.

I bought back into the 2nd table when some new people showed up, and the table became much more loose-passive. Larger pots, and easier to scare off everyone with a Turn or River raise. I bluffed a 34o with a K on the flop and runner-runner Queens and raked in at least $40. By the end of the night, 5:30am, I had recovered my $200 buy-in and was up another $100. The wife only broke even.

So we took our cash and headed over to the Muckleshoot, which was open all night. I snuck over to the Craps table when Shawni had to go to the bathroom, and bought in with $40. I was up $20 before she came out and yanked me away. Who's got a gambling problem? Not me! :)

All of their 2/4 tables were closed and they only had 4/8 and 20/40 games going. If they had some 50/100 tables running, we might have played there; but since they didn't, we stuck to the 4/8. :) It was our first time higher than 3/6, so it was a bit intimidating, but we both went ahead and bought in at $150 and sat at different tables.

I waited a few hands for the button to pass, and the very first two cards I get to see are KTs. I go ahead and limp in to catch a K on the flop. It gets checked around to me and I bet, and get half of the table to call. A Ten on the turn and I'm still getting callers. I'm sure they were all thinking I was some fish betting with A high trying to bluff them out. Another Ten gives me the Full House. EP glares at me and says, "Check to the bettor." I smile back and shrug, "I hate to do this guys, but I gotta keep betting." Another caller or so and I get to show off my monster opener. It was a very nice rake, especially after coming from the piddlance of a 3/6 game!

The wife held her own at her table, and we both adjusted pretty nicely to the extra chip per call. There was only once, when someone left and I had to post a Small Blind on the Button, that I threw out a single chip. An older gentleman to my left nudges me and says, "It's two on the small blind, kiddo. You're a 2/4 player huh? Just gave yourself away!" I tried to explain I'd been playing 3/6 all night... maybe I should have just told him I came from a 200/400 table and was used to throwing out a single Black for the SB. A boy can dream, right?

Now it was close to 9:30am, and we'd been playing poker for almost 12 hours straight. Talk about a marathon run! The only reason we had to leave the Casino was that Shawni had her UltimateBet Freeroll starting up at 10am! At some point I had gotten all the way down to just one stack of 20 chips, but worked my way back up and never had to once go all-in. When it was finally time to go, I had broken even, plus had enough to toke the dealer and see one more flop. I held 25o and went ahead and called it and flopped 2 pair! Now I had to break into my initial buy-in to bet it. Got called only by the old guy who had tried to out me as a 2/4 player. I check-raised him on the Turn, and he stopped and looked at me. "Now you got me all confused!" I checked on the River, and he threw in his last $5: "Well, at least you can't raise me again!"

He showed his unimproved AQ and I meekly rolled over my winning hand. "Sorry, it was my last hand and no one raised pre-flop so I called," I told him. He patted me on the back as he got up and left. "That's alright son. That's poker." The guy to my right - we'd been laughing together about the fact that he got crappy blind hands but was always winning with them anyways - he said, "It's one of those night where the shit hand catches... but you're almost embarrassed to show them!" As I was racking up my chips, I hear someone on the other end of the table chuckle as he looked at his cards and limped in. After the flop, he mucked and said, "It was 25... I had to try it!"

That wonderful last hand kicked me up another $20, and Shawni was up $100 as well. So between the two of us, we put in 24 hours and made $240. I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life for $5/hr, but at least it was hella fun!

The next scheduled meal in our Poker Diet was UB's $100 Tournament Entry Chip freeroll from 10:15a to probably 1:00pm. Then we were going to hit up the Cascade at 3:00 - Shawni for their Vegas freeroll qualifier, me for the $25 cash tourney. That would be followed at 7:00 by the Midway's qualifier and then the Pai-Gow tournament.

We took turns playing hands at UB, so the other could wash up or get some food, etc. But after an hour and a half, both of us started glazing over and falling asleep at the mouse. Something quite different about playing poker at a real table versus on your laptop in the comfort of... your... own... bed... Zzzz.... Zzzz... Zzzzzzzz.

Fast forward to about 5:30pm. Missed the Cascade tourneys, but was awake and refreshed for the Midway. Since it was the second to last week to qualify for the final table, EVERYONE was there for the Freeroll. They had to break down the live game and use all 4 tables for the tourney.

Shawni busted out pretty early, and I got short-stacked when twice in a row, I called two smaller All-ins with the better hand, and got wasted by the board. I caught two pair with K7 on the board, went all-in and got called by an AJs on a Flush draw. She got a third J on the River. Next hand I called a short-stack with AK, he had AQ, and 2 Queens flopped. I came back up a bit in a crazy hand when 4 people pushed all-in (myself included), the chip leader at the table covered it all, and his pocket Js lost to pocket 6s, my 45d, 34o, and A5o. The board was 346,9,2 giving the all-ins two-pair, a set, and the main pot I had to split the straight with Mr. A5o. Everyone got a piece of it except for the one with the best pre-flop hand. I finally lost when I went all-in with KQc, and I was called with an 8To that paired up on the flop.

Played some 3/6 while I waited for my round in the Pai-gow tournament. Lost $150 before I got called away - but then made it to the final table of the Tournament and chop-chopped the $1000 prize pool again. No one dissented this time, so it would be $150 per person. The pit boss wouldn't just give us the cash, so we had to play, "for the cameras." Myself and two others who were also involved in the previous week's prize splitting agreed to be the ones to win, as we weren't sure we could trust the other 3 to not just take the money and run. We had everyone bet all their chips and just muck their hands, leaving us three ringleaders with enough to place. We got paid in Casino chips, and I was responsible for distributing. I thought a second about asking security to escort me out with the $1000 that was in front of me; but then I probably wouldn't be able to ever show my face there again. :)

While I was breaking even at the Pai-gow tourney, Wifey was up $100 at the poker table. We finally left there about 3am, as I still have a job to show up for on Mondays. As you can imagine, my productivity was somewhat shot. Hell, it's Wednesday and I'm just now getting around to posting this.

But hey, this Poker diet is worth it! Not only are we up $300 for a loooooong weekend of entertainment... I'm actually down 10 pounds from the last time I weighed myself a few weeks ago! Who would have thought the best weight loss regiment would be just sitting around a green felt table for hours?

Hey Jenny Craig, bring me another rack, will ya!

Trust Me, I Know...

Thanks for the link, Iggy, and thanks to those who left insightful comments. Especially this one: "you are one stupid fuck..."

Keep 'em coming, cause I need a good ass-kicking.

Believe me, I've replayed the scenario over and over in my head, trying to come up with a happy ending. I had thousands of outs. But in the end, I come to the exact same conclusion: "you are one stupid fuck..."

The casino sent me an email, offering a special 10% reload bonus, because I'm one of their best customers. Ha.

On the brighter side of things, last night my wife won $3 from a PokerChamps freeroll - now she can hit the penny tables and start amassing the fortunes! She followed that up by qualifying for the Tournament Entry Chip on UB. Final playoffs are on Sunday morning, so that just adds another Freeroll to our usual Sunday schedule! We've all heard of the Poker Widows, but I may just become the first Poker Widower.

So I guess all I can do now is buck up and move on. My fortune-cookie fortune is pinned up here on my cubicle wall and it tells me good things are still in store for me. Can't wait to find out what that may be, so I can blow that all as well.

Lesson Learned

So this post was going to be titled "Payday" but that is no longer applicable. An acquaintance of mine told me about some online gambling he does - basically bonus whoring but through sports-betting. Won't get into details here but feel free to ask if interested. We set up an account with $2000 (of his money) and put as much "action" on it as possible to clear the bonus. The site has a java-based casino and any play on there counts towards the action as well. He said I could play some $5 blackjack on the account just to help clear the bonus (of which I was getting a cut). As long as I didn't lose more than $200 or $300, he'd still be in the positive.

After a few hours of play on Friday, I called him up and asked how he wanted to split the BJ winnings. He said the winnings were mine to keep... and I was up a grand! It was totally crazy - I would play the max of $200 on three hands, and hit Blackjacks and double downs that paid off. I did stupid things like doubling down on 12 and 13, and split 10s and it worked! I played on and off throughout the weekend, between setting things up for Halloween; and by Monday, the time of my last post, I had an extra $5000 that was mine to keep.

Obviously, I had played enough to clear the bonuses and initiated the cash-out process. It would take a day or two to verify the bank account. My wife and I started talking about a quick weekend trip to Vegas. We talked about taking $500 each and trying out some 5/10 tables. I was ready to put a few hundred into Neteller so I could open up an account at Party Poker.

But instead of being a good disciplined gambler, being happy with what I'd won, waiting for the bank verification to clear and then taking the money and running, I played some more on Monday night. Shit, wouldn't you know it, I went on a mad rush and broke $10,000. I should have quit then, but I didn't. I couldn't. I felt unstoppable.

I learned the hard way that online casinos are rigged. As soon as I doubled or tripled up my bet amounts, dealer Blackjack. Three hands at $200 each, all dealt 19 or 20, dealer gets a 5-card 21. Crap.

My $10k whittled back down towards $5k. I quickly exited (which I should have done 30 minutes earlier when the account was still at 5 digits) and tried to go to sleep. It was difficult because I felt sick to my stomach, and I couldn't even bring myself to tell my wife. I don't know why I felt this way, because even at just $5k, I was still in the money.

I wish I would have realized that when I woke up this morning. The first thing I did when I awoke was log on and try to get back to $10k. It's not like I was in the hole or anything, so I don't know why I tried so hard. I guess I was just on a major tilt. Not an hour later, I'm down to $500. 5-0-0. Five hundred. Fuck. Now I really felt sick. I seriously wanted to cry. I had to run to the bathroom cause I felt like I was going to throw up. The sound of my gagging woke the wife, and I had to tell her what I just did.

She was mad about the fact that I didn't stop at the $2000 mark, and now we have to cover my acquaintance's money out of our own pocket. She was okay with the rest of the loss... it wasn't money we were counting on, although it would have been nice to have that cash to play with.

I, of course, can still not get over the fact that I piddled away almost $10,000. I mean, that's always been a dream of mine, to roll up to a $100 minimum Craps table with a wad of cash and have thousands out on the table at once. But that's when I have a few million in the bank and $10,000 is just funny money. But $10k could have done a lot for us at our current low-limit level, and I blew it. I fucking blew it.

My wife pointed out how greedy I was being and that it was completely masturbatory. I definitely blew my wad on this one. How could I have been so fucking stupid?

I helped some lady fix a flat tire on the way out to work this morning. It was raining and I was down on my hands and knees. Atoning for my sins? Hoping this would bring me some good karma? Make me feel better about myself? It didn't work. I still felt like shit all day at the office, and I called home to apologize profusely. Starting the account was supposed to be free money, +EV; and I made into some unbelievably free money. But then all rational thought left my body and I made it cost us. I pissed away a Vegas weekend. I pissed away long nights at the poker room. I pissed away great Christmas presents for the kids.

It's late on Election night, and it sounds like we won't know who the President will be for at least a few more days. I'm listening to Loveline on the radio. One of the things that I remember Dr. Drew always talking about is how people who made drastic changes in their life, such as getting off drugs or losing a lot of weight, or whatever, the common factor is that they got to a point where they became utterly disgusted with themselves. That's the catalyst for major life changes.

I've never felt bad about losing a hundred or two at the casino once a week. Entertainment fund. No problem. But losing this $10,000, even though it was mostly profit, makes me feel disgusted. I'm still literally sick to my stomach. I detest myself for being such an idiot.

So what life change am I in for? Time to quit gambling? Never gonna happen.

I know I've always been terrible about walking away when I'm up. I always have to go back for one more, and it ends up costing me all of my winnings, if not even more of my starting bankroll, as it did here. I thought I'd never learn my lesson, but finally experiencing it on this grand of a scale... it was an expensive lesson, and one that I've now definitely learned.

Update 11/3, 7:00am: My wife and I took turns trying to make something of the $500 that was left. Nothing. Well, at least the account is closed out completely now and I never have to look at it again. :(

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is finally past. I know to 99% of the adult population, this is a "holiday" for the kids, but my wife falls in the 1% that loves to make a big deal out of the day. And since I have to live with her, I fall into that 1% as well. Rather than just dressing up the kids and sending them off for a few hours, we spent the entire week dressing up the house and getting things ready for just one night. It seems like a lot of work... no, it WAS a lot of work, but dammit, it was fun and turned out to be well worth it in the end!

We had our usual outdoor decorations out a few days early: ghosts strung up between the roof and the trees, flapping in the wind - Frankenstein peeking out from behind a tree - Marcus the Carcass coming out of the ground - and a little graveyard right in the middle of the lawn. Someone(s) swiped our high quality (aka expensive) foam tombstones the night before Halloween, so that was a real bummer. We went and got cheapy ones to fill in the graveyard, and have learned our lesson about putting out the good stuff too early.

That was the one dark spot of the weekend. Other than that, our coup de grace, the Haunted Garage, was a total success! I'll post pics after I find my uplink cables!

We had one garage door open and hung black plastic sheeting for walls, which was unexpectedly great because they billowed hauntingly in the wind. It began with an unlit narrow hallway, which U-turned into another hallway with dangly strips (akin to those in a meat locker) and blinking lights on the walls. Then it opened into a ghastly room with dangling ghosts and vampires and my Bowflex-converted-torture-machine which had dismembered heads and body parts hanging from it. Black gloved hands (belonging to my daughter's friend) protruded from a wall, waving themselves over a lit-up crystal ball.

The hands pointed people into the next room, where a glowing-eyed Vampire hung from above and a 6-foot-tall Grim Reaper hid in a little alcove. My garage shelving now had heads and skulls and jars of nastiness (one with a beating heart), and if you were too busy looking up at that stuff, you'd miss my daughter's other friend hiding in a dog cage on the floor. She got plenty of good screams when she snarled and rattled the cage as people walked by.

The next room had my 6 year old daughter under a black-light with white make-up on, wearing a white dress and sitting on a white bed. And she was playing with a doll whose eyes we popped out, and whose head glowed from the glow-sticks that were stuffed in there. A toy rocking horse rocked by itself while my daughter giggled and asked, "You want to play with my dolly?" Very disturbing!

As people walked into the next room, my 14 year old was bloodied up and tied to a chair. She cried for help, but before anyone could answer her pleas, I came running out from the previous room, equipped with a scary white mask and a buzzing chainsaw. This got many screams and made some people run straight through the last room and out the exit. Those people missed getting their treat from the candy bowl that was being offered up by a fancily dressed skeleton.

We had at least 100 people go through it in less than 2 hours. We even took a 30 minute break to allow my girls to go trick-or-treating; and when we got back there was already a line formed! One group of folks said they drove 10 miles up from Tacoma because their friend called them and told them about it. Unfortunately, their friend also told them what to expect already so we couldn't get too good of a scare out of them.

My voice is shot, my arms are still blood stained, and my garage needs a lot of clean up, but man, it was one helluva night!

Anyways, back to Poker! Tried to squeeze in some online play when I could. Made it to the final table at a PokerChamps freeroll ($5 first prize!), but Survivor was going to start soon so I just busted myself out. My wife and I were joking about why we even bothered playing for money we couldn't even use... then the following day we get the email saying that PokerChamps has gone live. Dammit, I should have stuck in so I would have $5 to take to the 1/2 cent tables!!!

Played in an Ultimate Bet freeroll. Dealt JJ on the very first hand. Min-raised it in early position, then got someone who raised another T600. We only start with 1000, so I re-raised him all-in. He shows AK. Flop comes AAx, then just for kicks, a K on the Turn. So much for that idea!

There was no time for any live casino action; but I'm still up about $5000 for the weekend. Huh? Explanation to follow shortly. :) Until then, don't OD on your Halloween candy, and hope you have a happy Election Day tomorrow!