Welcome to TV Land

Not being much of a basketball fan, I don't get caught up in all the March Madness Mayhem. But every season, the damn games still affect me... they have to bump Survivor up a day!!! Do you realize how many important moments in Survivor history I've missed because I didn't tune in a day earlier? Thursday nights have become our family's regular teriyaki night, so we can all eat rice along with our favorite castaways. And now we have to shuffle our weekly schedule just so millions can watch some college kids bounce an orange ball around the gym? Outrage!

I probably would have forgotten again this time around as well if I hadn't been watching The Amazing Race and been constantly reminded that Survivor is on a "special" night. Rob and Amber kick ass. The producers will find some way to keep them in until the end because there wouldn't be much of a show left without them.

Speaking of which, my wife and I were once part of a local reality show, based around gambling of course.

We did it last summer, and while it's nothing I'd put on my resumé, it was a fun experience and occassionally we get recognized, mostly by the casino-going crowds. And thinking back, it's actually the reason my wife and I got so into Hold'em.

It all started when a co-worker sent me this link. Basically, the premise is 10 teams of 2 compete in a series of table games: Blackjack, Roulette, Bacarrat, and Hold'em. And like every good reality show, there'd be eliminations until only one team remained, and that team won the chance to spin a wheel for a million dollars. Yes, you read that correct, you don't necessarily win the money... you win a spin for the money. It was a local show, what'd you expect?

Being the degenerate gamblers we already were, this sounded like the perfect competition for me and my wife! The Tulalip Indian Casino is about an 1.5 hour drive from home, and seeing as we can get to the Muckleshoot in just 10 minutes, the Tulalip was not one of our usual hangouts. But we made the trek out there the night before open-casting-call day, got a nearby hotel room, and checked out the facility (a beautiful place!). We got back there early the morning of, and there were only 3 or 4 other teams waiting, so we got our initial interview done and over with really early. The audition was open all day and they ended up seeing about 200 couples throughout the day.

The interview consisted of two minutes in front of a producer and a camera answering questions about what we like to play, why we make a good team, etc. Our spin was that we were yin and yang when it comes to gambling. I play by the book and know the odds and strategies, she plays on her intuition and gut feelings. But we always play as a team and are supportive of each other, and usually end up covering each other in terms of win/loss. So we break even for the night but we have a good time doing it.

Since we were done so early, we hit the casino floor. At this point in time, neither of us had played Poker at a live table, only a little bit online. We stuck to the craps and baccarat tables and found ourselves playing side by side with one of the other teams that tried out that morning. They were a fun, loud and boisterous mother/daughter team, and when we started chatting about the show, we told them the only game that worried us would be Hold'em. At that, they whisked us out of the Tulalip to a nearby Silver Dollar, and being the regulars that they were there, got us all seats for our first ever live game. The rest, as they say, is history.

Anyways, back to the show: a few weeks later, we got our first callback. There were about 25 teams called back, but unfortunately they didn't include the mother/daughter that had taken our Poker virginity. We were gathered in a conference room at the TV station where they laid out felts for each of the games and had casino dealers playing mock games with everyone. It was kind of surprising how many people didn't know how to play Blackjack or Roulette, and it seemed we were the only couple who knew how to play Bacarrat. I guess everyone else was just there to be on TV. The producers took teams aside to do more in-depth interviews and had us record sound bytes to be used in the commercials.

After another few weeks, we hadn't heard back so assumed we didn't make the second cut. But then two weeks before the first day of taping began, they asked if we would be available. Apparently, the producers narrowed it down to 11 teams they liked, but since there was only room for 10, they wanted to pit two teams against each other for that tenth spot. You know, kick off the show with a little more drama and excitement. Obviously, we were one of those two teams.

You can read the episode recaps at the official Tulalip Casino Night website, but here's my summary, with some behind the scenes commentary. The "Play-In" would be us, The Pocket Rockets, versus A Pair of Queens, and it consisted of a completely random hand of Texas Hold'em. Both teams got their cards, face-up, and we'd see a flop, turn, and river. Whoever had the best hand won. No playing, no skill or strategy, just pure luck.

The whole concept of the Play-In was kind of dumb, but what really irritated my wife was that the team we were up against, the Queens, was a team that we didn't see at the open casting call nor at the first call-back. She figured that they must be friends of one of the producers, and because they were flamboyantly gay, they would make for good TV. Or at least they would be needed as the token gay couple on the show. She voiced her opinion, loudly, to some of the other teams as well as the producers, and we were told they were a team that just couldn't make the callback and had other interview times and arrangements. We felt it was hardly likely that the Queens had even sent in an application... they knew nothing about gambling, so why would they even be interested in doing the show?

Anyways, it took almost half the day to get things set-up and have practice runs and make sure everyone was oriented before the cameras started rolling. By now, my wife was fuming - we invested all this time and energy and came all this way, just for an opportunity to lose to a team that was there purely for camera time, rather than for the love of the games (and money).

We ended up winning the Play-In (I don't even remember the hand, it was that random), but in their exit interview, the Queens called my wife a mean bitch. It was kind of funny because when the show aired, there was absolutely no history shown on us or them, and the negative comments just seemed to come out of nowhere. But as it is with reality TV and editing, within the first 15 minutes of the first episode, our image as the trouble-maker team was cemented.

The casino had partitioned off their no-smoking section for the show's use, with a table for each of the games and a few slot machines. The competition consisted of a Frenzy round, where each team took their $10,000 in play chips and hit any of the tables/slots for 15 minutes to build up or lose their bankroll. Then there would be a round where all teams played Roulette together, and then a round of Blackjack, etc. Bankrolls would be counted after each round and challenges and eliminations ensued based on standings.

As I mentioned before, we noticed that not everyone that made the show was a gambler... most teams had one casual gambler and their tag-along friend/cheerleader. One team played nothing but slots and barely knew blackjack. We'd made mention, on camera, that we thought our team had the best shot because we both knew all the games and were regular players of them all. Somehow this comment got turned into us being all high and mighty, and other teams saying in their interviews how they thought we were annoying and so full of ourselves!

We ended up being on the chopping block again at the first elimination as we ended the round in 9th place. This elimination would be based on the spin of the roulette wheel. The 10th place team picked Red, and when the ball landed Black and we got to stay, it gave us an even bigger target on our backs. There was an occassional "Challenge Bet" where the last place team could challenge any other team for a chunk of their chips, either via a spin of the wheel or a deal of 2 blackjack cards. Of course we would get picked and of course we would win... and we never had a say in any of it, luck just went our way!

By episode 3, we had won 5 challenges, suriving 3 eliminations. Everyone was out to get us at that point! And on air, those first episodes we nicknamed the Steve and Shawni show, as it was all about us squeaking by. On the episode we finally got booted off, they had thrown in a twist. First place after the last gaming round would get to choose which teams went up for elimination. Now instead of just trying to stay out of the bottom, the goal was scrambling for the top. Our nemesis team, one that had challenged us twice and lost both times and therefore really wanted to get back at us, was leading the pack and we were at the bottom.

So we tried to make a deal with one of the other trailing teams (this was all on-camera of course), where we would pick them for a Challenge Bet so that we would be basically dumping our chips to each other no matter the outcome, and that if we could work our way back to the top with those extra chips, we would keep each other off the block. They wouldn't agree to it, we ended up losing our chips to another neutral team, they couldn't do anything with it, and so we were picked for elimination and our lucky streak ended.

Anyways, the point of all this is that we were the only team that made good TV, like Rob and Amber are doing for The Amazing Race. All the other teams were too lovey-dovey and just plain outright boring. We stirred up trouble and caused drama... so much so that we were brought back for the final episode, in a shocking suprise twist of course, where we got to grant immunity to one of the last 5 teams and send them directly to the the final table, which would consist of only 4 teams. The producers loved it that my wife wanted to have each team plead their case to us as to why we should give them the immunity. She really didn't care what any of them had to say, as we had decided to give it to the Old guys already, but again... it made for good TV!

So there you have it, my dark dirty little secret. Like I said, sometimes we get spotted while sitting at a table. "Hey... weren't you on that show?" And it seems the small viewing audience that did tune in were rooting for us, being the underdogs that we were. "That sucked that everyone was picking on you!"

And while we didn't win a million dollars (the winners got their spin and actually hit it!), and we aren't being flooded with endorsement deals or recording contracts, we owe a lot to this experience: without it, my wife and I may have never found our way to a real Hold'em table and become as addicted as we are to the game. Okay, so maybe that's not such a great thing. :)

Time to go pick up the teriyaki and settle in to just watching reality TV.